That's Sharp, Mackenzie!

A poem

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

“That’s sharp Mackenzie” is what mum always
shouted at me whenever I used or was near
any form of cutlery that had the potential to
cause harm to me

Because of this we always used plastic or
wooden utensils to try to subside damage
that could cause harm to my insides
and shorten my life

It has been six years since I have been to
the dentist as my mum does not trust the
tools that they use to clean your teeth as
they can cause my gums to bleed and they
do not want the dentists to succeed in
preventing cavities

or you know bleeding out everywhere
and causing myself and others to faint
and not being able to rush to the hospital
in enough time to stop me from bleeding
out so it is better to avoid the dentist entirely
and my mum is not the type to sue someone
and they could definitely could if this were
to happen but it is just a whole process ya know?

Suing is so American anyways

I think mum is afraid of sharp objects
such as a knife or fork because her
grandpa was a chef who accidentally
slit his finger off while preparing a
market salad on a busy holiday weekend

because of this salads are forbidden
from being eaten inside our household
but salads are okay to eat at an outside
establishment but before we are allowed
to eat it mum makes sure that no fingers
or other limbs were lost in the making of it

this also applies to steak and other meals
that are reliant on being sliced or diced
with a knife whose blade may be rusty
or recently sharpened using that cool
tool that chefs sometimes use on Hell’s Kitchen

Sometimes though I just want to tell my mum
I am 32 years old and I am able to safely use
cutlery or other tools in the manner that they
require without causing any potential harm
she doesn’t want me to lose a finger or an arm
which I totally get but it can be embarrassing
when you are out with your friends at the pub
and your mum texts you

make sure to order something already pre cut
did you know that steak knives can be used in crimes?
remember to order your steak rare, you don’t like it too tough

I understand she is doing this all out of love
but it feels my wings have been cut and any
sort of freedom I have has been closed and
shut

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This poem was partially inspired by their friend Mackenzie Sharp.